When we gather together as a sangha, we strive to create an environment that supports our practice, and a space in which all of us feel held, respected, and heard. By following these guidelines in our zendo and during our Dharma discussions, we can build healthy spiritual friendships and a strong community.
When you enter the zendo, please keep conversation in the lobby. Please leave personal items in the lobby to keep the zendo space uncluttered. No food or drink in the zendo unless medically necessary. Remove your shoes, silence your phone, and bow as you enter the main space. Traditionally, we bow towards our seat, then turn to face inward and bow to the group/space. Take your seat in silence, and use the time before the bell to settle into your practice. If you arrive late, please take a seat on the couch in the entryway, then join us during walking meditation. During zazen, we do our best to maintain complete stillness and an upright posture.
On Zoom, please join the meeting in silence. You’re welcome to meditate with your camera on or off. Keeping your camera on is a way of offering your presence to the group. You may choose to face the camera directly, or in profile. Sitting in profile may feel less distracting for you. If you need to move during the meditation, or if a pet or household member enters view, please turn off your camera to avoid distracting others.
Dharma Discussion Guidelines
Three Guiding Principles
- Practice not knowing. Rather than meeting each moment from an egoic place of knowing, bring humility, an openness and willingness to learn and be surprised.
- Practice kindness and compassion. When listening, send kindness to the speaker. When speaking, let your words come from your heart.
- Become grounded in zazen. Connecting to the silence, spaciousness, and oneness experienced in your zazen practice, let this be the place from which you speak and listen.
Deep Listening
- Don’t plan your response while someone else is speaking.
- Suspend all judgement. Mindfully observe any internal reactions to another’s words and any thoughts you’re having about that person’s character or practice.
- Allow space. Pause between speakers to allow each person’s words to be received and digested.
- If you tend to talk a lot, step back and practice listening more. Only speak twice in a discussion if all others have had an opportunity to speak.
- Respect confidentiality. In order to build trust withing the sangha, we should refrain from repeating any sensitive content that people share. In other words, don’t gossip.
Mindful Speech
- If you tend to feel more comfortable in the background, speaking rarely or never, practice stepping forward. Know that your words matter, and the sangha wants to hear from you.
- No theorizing, speak from your direct experience.
- Be concise, go to essence. Keep your comments relevant to the topic, and try to express the heart of what you would like to say.
- No giving advice or lecturing. If someone is expressing vulnerability or has missed an important point, don’t try to fix it. You can offer what is helpful in your own practice, understanding that what works for you might not work for another.
- Share with the whole group. No cross talk. Avoid addressing just one person. Everything everyone says should be for the benefit of the entire sangha. If something of a personal nature does arise, you can find an opportunity after the meeting to speak with that person individually. This offers a way to deepen spiritual friendships within the sangha.
- Learn from mishaps. Understand that despite being drawn together by our common love of the Dharma, we all have very different karma. What we intend to say and how our words are received may differ. Likewise, we may misconstrue the words of another. When (not if) these misunderstandings arise, we should find ways to clarify them, by either going directly to the other person, or speaking with the teacher.